1. All wanting to be my proctologist.

2. If you were a proctologist, you'd think rectal cancer.

3. We got two brain surgeons, a proctologist and three nurses from Bellevue.

4. As soon as you get home, you need to see a proctologist.

5. A: "I'm a hypochondriac -- I love doctors and list them at the end of the book, even my proctologist.